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aznJun
 
yr 9 this year..... [ 2008 ]
我最爱她      Read The Story I Wrote: Leave a comment. And tell me what you think about it. aznJun Profile  
      _______________________________________________________________ To My Girlfriend, 12. June 2007 If only sometimes i knew what you were thinking or you would know what i was thinking. These things can never be told by just look each other in the face. But you are the one that always makes me happy. If only you knew that. I dont blame you if you don't. I just might not have done everything correct. But for now all I need you to know is that i love you. The only problem now is that i can't tell you how i feel. It's to hard for me. Everytime i see you, my only thought is to see you smile and to see you happy. Everytime, when i want to tell you why i'm sad, your smile just wipes it all away. All the sadness and unhappiness. To me i just don't want to tell you what's wrong. I never want to hurt you. But somehow i just always do. If you are ever mad about me or upset. I don't blame you. I'll probably never be the guy of your dreams. ~ The one that can always makes you happy. ~ To tell you the truth. I've never blamed you for anything. Everytime you're unhappy the only person i can blame is myself, ever since i've met you. You've brought me happiness, joy and care that i've never had. ~ The one that can makes you smile. ~ ~ The one that cares about you. ~ Today I bought you a present. The first present i've bought for you. I had no idea what to say or how to give you this present. Since i've never been a good boyfriend, i didn't really know what to get you. One thing i realised is that price isn't actually everything. I hope you liked the present. But the only problem is i don't know if you like it. Everytime i look at you. All i want to see is that pretty smile of yours. I've had something to tell you. But everytime i look at you i don't want to make you worried. Before i've had a girlfriend, i've always told myself that i'm only allowed to treat you nicely. By the time i want to tell you what's wrong. I forget. I wipe all the bad things away. And i try my hardest to keep you happy. But time and time again, i've failed. I don't know if it's my fault or yours. I believe in you, so all i can do is blame myself. I keep everything together, promising to never tell you the things inside. But sometimes you ask me over and over again. No, you aren't annoying. I just want you to be happy. I'd rather suffer myself than see you unhappy. However bad things haven't happened lately. I'm seeing you smile once again. I'm glad i've haven't done anything wrong. But i don't know yet. You could be like me. Keeping everything to myself. All i can do is write something like this. One day, maybe today, i will show you this. Please don't be mad at me. But if i show you, I promise to tell you what's going on. So i will. But just time to time i can't express my feelings. For you it's really nothing to worry about. I just want you to know. Jealously has been taking over lately. I'm a weird guy. That's one thing i have to admit. I've been wanting to tell you since Friday. That whole Friday i've missed you so much. Even though i was at the movies without you. I was sad. I didn't want to go because you couldn't. But i still went, because my girlfriend told me to go. I missed you so much. Jealously, Jealousy. I say to myself. "Terence, Why are you jealous? You have such a good girlfriend and you still don't treat her well. So why are you jealous?" I've been struggling, because I don't know how to say. Even though the problem is so small. I make it sound so BIG. To tell you the truth, the problem is: I don't know if you're telling me everything. I don't expect you to tell me what you had for dinner last night. Or what did you just a minute ago. It's ok. I just want to know why you're upset or unhappy. I feel hopeless. Last time i know i did the wrong thing. I admit it. The worst mistake i've ever made. To not tell you the truth. I know you were upset. I don't blame you. I know you forgave me. But that's not the problem. I asked you what i did wrong. You wouldn't tell me. So i left you. I don't blame you for not telling me. But when i finally realised, you told everyone else what was wrong. And you just didnt tell me. I just sat there, not knowing what to do. At that time i still didn't blame you. You probably didn't trust me. But i sat there. Seriously, just sitting there still. But don't worry. It's okay. It was my fault. This time it was. You've never blamed me. It's ok for you. I have no right to be jealous. I want to let you know everything. I believe we have no more secrets between us. But i still don't know. I feel like you don't tell me a lot. The present i gave you. I don't know if you like it. But i seriously hope you did. If you don't just tell me. It's ok. If you never tell me anything, i can never learn. Don't worry if you read this. But all i know is that, it will make you worried. If you are ever unsure about anything just talk to me. Or you don't trust me. Just find your friends and any friends. To be serious. I feel like such a loser. And i probably am one. But just one thing. One thing you can do for me is that just tell me something. You don't have to. But i would like to know just somethings. Otherwise it's ok. Don't worry. I'll just need my silence now. As long as your happy. I'll stay happy. Just for you. I seriously love you. But it seems that you just don't know. But i one thing i want you to know is that you are the most important to me. The best thing that i've ever had in my life. Is to have a girlfriend like you. Everything i say you, don't need to do anything about it. It's okay. Just stay happy and know that i always love you. If only i could be with you forever. But till then. You will always be the one for me, the one that i will always love. I Love You Janice! - Terence [ Jun ]_______________________________________________________________ 15. June 2007 To Her, Tomorrow is the test. The test that we all have been preparing for. I don't really want to do the test. What if you get into the school? or if i get into the school? I won't be able to see you again. *sad* But i still wish you luck. I hope my luck will bring you happiness and grant you the wishes you want. You asked me, "do you want me to get into the school?" Well i do want you to get into that school. I believe its a good school, and it will bring you a good and happy future. But deep inside i want to tell you. I don't want you to get in. And i don't want to get in. The only thing is, if you get in. You will have a better life and it gives you more opportunities. Forget about my thought. Follow your thoughts. And i respect whatever you do. Whether you want to get in or not. I feel so lonely now. I always want to tell you. Without you by my side. Everything feels different. I always have this empty feeling. A feeling that feels like your missing something. I miss you. Today i was really happy. But at first i wasn't. But i kept it alway so you wouldn't worry about it. However after you spent sometime with me. I feel that i am loved and i shouldn't be sad. For you i smile once again. And to see you happy is all i want. I'm glad i have you. Everytime i'm sad, you're always there to comfort me, there to make me feel better. I wish i could do the same for you. It's finally over after tomorrow i have nothing else to worry about. These 3 days you have finally made me realise that you do care about me. I Love You! Your friends asked me, Why don't give you her a kiss? It's not that i don't want to. Just sometimes i don't know what you are thinking. I would like to give you a kiss just i don't know if you mind. You don't need to worry about me anymore. The sadness in me has just disappeared. You've made me realise their is a lot more in life. And a lot more things to enjoy and care about. Today, after school, i went to find you. I came out of classes kinda early. Just to see you. I didn't know where you were. So i called you. But when i answered, i sounded like i was in a real hurry. And yeah. Sorry. I guess i was just a bit in a hurry because if i stay to long my parents will like yeah. But in the end i saw you. I was glad to see you. I wanted to see you last time before the test. I'm not sure if i will be able to see you tomorrow. So i wanted to wish you good luck. And see you smile. I guess i am a bit selfish. Make you hurry for me to see you. Sorry. Your smile always makes me happy. I'm glad i have a girlfriend like you. I love you Janice! *hugs* Good luck with your test. I hope you will always be happy. And wish everything you want will come true - Terence
Latest page update: Apr 21 2008, 6:21 AM EDT
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